1/27/14. The post where I talk about control.

January 27, 2014: finally, some relief.  Woke up at around a 6, and stayed there much of the day.  A very busy day.  If you had told me six months ago I would appreciate a day spent at pain level 6, I wouldn't have believed you. But here I am, and it was a good day.  I'm fading tonight, but I expected worse with my activity level and the cold front that has blown in today.

And that's what's freaking me out.  I am used to being in control, and this is not something I can control or predict.  I don't know how I'm going to feel from one minute to the next, let alone from one day to the next. This had better not be some sort of metaphorical life lesson about letting go and facing fears.  But if it is, I hope they make a movie out of it.  A real movie, not one of those Lifetime TV movies.  And I hope Sandra Bullock plays me.  

Physical therapy in the morning, road conditions permitting.  They're going to have me walk on a treadmill while in some sort of harness to keep the weight off my foot.  (I'll pause a moment to let that mental image sink in.)  I already feel ridiculous, and I haven't even tried it yet.  At the very least, I should have a good story to tell tomorrow. 

As I write this, the pain is steadily ramping up.  Maybe the long day and cold weather are affecting it after all.  Which means maybe I am starting to be able to predict it.  Sandra Bullock will be very disappointed to hear that.