1/26/15. The post where I give myself permission to give in for a day.

1/26/15: my foot continued to feel worse throughout the night.  When my alarm went off this morning, I made an effort to gut it out and get ready for work.  But in addition to my foot screaming, my eyes were nearly swollen shut (due to allergies or lack of sleep, I suspect) and I had a stomach ache (no clue on this one).  I had an inner dialogue with myself while getting ready.  More of an inner argument, really.    And I can be a little stubborn at times.  Just ask my patient, long-suffering husband and my family.

In addition to being stubborn, I also pride myself on being tough.  But I didn't feel very tough today.  And after a long argument, I convinced myself that every now and then it's okay not to be tough.  Sometimes I need a day to give in, just for a little while.  So I did.  I stayed home from work.  I rested with my foot propped up.  I read.  I felt sorry for myself.  I even ate a little ice cream.  (A very little ice cream.  A little-known fact about me - I don't really care much for ice cream.  But today it seemed appropriate.)  I made a trip to the doctor's office for new stimulator programs.  I tried one of the new ones this morning and it didn't seem to make much of a difference, so I tried another one late this afternoon and got a little relief.  

Tomorrow, the big girl pants go back on, regardless of how I feel.  Ultimately, staying active is the best thing I can do to try to get this into remission, and too many days like today can make it worse.  But I need to open the safety valve every now and then.