11/24/15. The post where I win.

11/24/15: my foot and I have had an uneasy truce for the last couple of weeks.  It has been daring me to give it a reason to act out, but so far I haven't taken the bait.  Other than a few brief flare ups due to weather changes, I have felt surprisingly well.  But the holidays are coming and I am switching into full-on action figure mode. Which never goes over well.

This Thanksgiving is a special one. For the first time in our relationship, my patient, long-suffering husband and I do not have a three day music festival to produce the week after Thanksgiving.  Which means we can actually celebrate, instead of racing to a family member's home, scarfing down a meal, and racing back to work.  So this year we are hosting a dinner.  A small dinner.  I'm talking small. http://youtu.be/YYtTb23PIAs  

But even a small Thanksgiving dinner requires a large trip to the grocery store and a lot of space in the fridge.  And neither one of us was looking forward to cleaning out the fridge or braving the crowds at the store, so we had already put off both tasks several times.  Unfortunately for me, my patient, long-suffering husband thought more quickly than I did.  As I walked in the door after work, he met me with the news that he had already cleaned out the fridge.  And reminded me that he had a meeting tonight.  So, maybe I could do the grocery shopping? Well, crap.  

I finished putting together the list, had a little liquid courage, and steeled myself for the crush of humanity at the store.  I knew I would have a long walk in from the parking lot and then a long trip through the store, so I put on a comfortable pair of shoes.  Then I got in the car and drove to the store, where I found...a ghost town.  Seriously.  The parking lot was nearly empty and I pulled into the spot closest to the door.  I checked my phone to make sure I hadn't missed the end of the world.  I walked in and sped down the aisles, exchanging furtive glances with the few other shoppers in the store who also could not believe their good fortune.  I went to the checkout, where nearly every lane was empty and the bored cashiers were practically begging me to pick them.  Best.  Shopping trip.  Ever.  Within 45 minutes, I was back home and all the groceries were in the freshly cleaned fridge.  While part of me wanted to keep my patient, long-suffering husband in the dark about my lucky evening, the urge to gloat overcame me.  Looks like I won this round of the Thanksgiving chore wars.

It wasn't a total win.  Even with my unbelievably short trip, I came home with a foot that was red, swollen, and generally unhappy.  My foot hates grocery stores.  After thirty minutes of rest, though, it bounced back pretty well.  Considering the fact that I expected to still be at the grocery store at that time, it still felt like a win.  Here's hoping my luck continues for the rest of the holiday week.

11/12/15. The post where I'm not a super hero...or am I?

11/12/15: after my flare up last week, I gradually improved over several days and I've managed to keep a delicate balance for the last few days.  I can feel it chasing me, but so far I've stayed one step ahead of it.  It's an important week at work and at home and I don't have time for any RSD foolishness.

After a long day at work for both of us, my patient, long-suffering husband and I cooked a delicious, healthy dinner together.  That hasn't happened in...well, in way too long.  And we really enjoyed it.  But by the time we finished, my foot was ready to call it a day, so I settled in on the couch and we watched a movie. What movie, you ask? Avengers: Age of Ultron.   I know, at least half of you are saying, "You know that movie came out six months ago, right?"  But for us, seeing a movie within six months of its release date is a speed record.

As I watched them defy death countless times and save the planet yet again, I felt a little lame sitting on the couch with my foot propped up on pillows.  I don't think I'll be answering any super hero want ads any time soon.  But as I thought back on my week, I felt a little better.  I don't think anyone would have faulted me for lying around all week feeling sorry for myself.  But I didn't. Did I kill a bunch of bad guys?  No.  Did I perform any death-defying stunts?  No.  Did I save the planet from imminent annihilation?  No.  But in my own small way, I made the world a better place.  I completed a major accomplishment this week at work that will help a lot of people, although most of them will never know about it.  And, did I mention I also did a lot of work at home for a big concert tomorrow night?  And I've done all these things with HAL set to 11.  Maybe I'll check the super hero want ads after all.  Although I've never looked good in Lycra...

11/5/15. The post where a day with a flare up can still be a great day.

11/5/15: I've been hanging on all week, feeling like I was on the verge of a big flare up, but never quite there. Until this morning.  I woke up before the alarm went off to heavy rain and burning feet. Yes, feet. Plural. Looks like the nerve blocks in my left foot may have played out.  They were great while they lasted.

I gave myself the usual pep talk and got up to get ready. But after about twenty minutes, it was clear that it was going to take more than a pep talk today.  I checked my work calendar and - hallelujah - no pressing meetings or other tasks I couldn't take care of from home.  So, it was back into bed for awhile until I could muster up the fortitude to walk downstairs and fling myself onto the couch for the day.  I was actually fairly productive.  It's amazing what you can accomplish with wifi and a laptop.  And a patient, long-suffering husband who doesn't mind playing nurse and chef.

But before you start thinking it was a bad day, let me tell you the good news.  Mom got the results today from her most recent body scan.  The one remaining tumor continues to shrink, a residual effect of the recent radiation.  And more importantly, no new spots!  So, not only was it a great day, the upcoming holidays are going to be great as well.  

And speaking of "holidays", you may not have heard, but this month is CRPS/RSD awareness month.  (I'm certainly keenly aware of it right now.)  It is being called "Nervember" on some social media, which I find hysterical in my current addled state.  Happy Nervember, y'all! 

11/1/15. The post where it catches up with me.

11/1/15: if I told you all the things I've done since my last post without a major flare up, you wouldn't believe me.  But I'm going to tell you anyway. I've survived two business trips.  Hours of driving in the rain. Hours of flying in the rain.  Hours of sitting on a tarmac in the rain.  Miles and miles of walking.  Thirty degree temperature swings.  Three major storm fronts.  And through it all, HAL has been humming away and my foot has felt remarkably good. Nothing over a 5, even when I had to turn off HAL to go through airport security, and more often in the 2-3 range.  Yesterday, I felt good enough to walk a charity 5K and go to a costume party.  I was feeling invincible.

Well, it turns out I am vincible.  I woke up early this morning feeling like there was a knife sticking out of my foot.  (Maybe it was the power of suggestion. After all, on Halloween I saw lots of people with knives sticking out of various body parts.)  Surprisingly, my foot color looks perfectly normal.  But recently, I've discovered another method for convincing myself I am not imagining things when I have a flare up.  You probably don't keep up with the symptoms of RSD, but I do, and one of them is fluctuations in body temperature at the affected area.  Recently, my patient, long-suffering husband bought an infrared temperature gun for measuring specific spots in the oven while baking. But guess what it can also measure?  The temperature of specific spots on your body.  And this morning, as I suspected, the temperature of my right foot at the exact point the "knife" is sticking out is more than three degrees colder than the same spot on my left foot and the rest of my body.  While fascinating from an intellectual perspective and satisfying from a mental health perspective, it doesn't make the knife go away.

Fortunately, today is a pretty easy day.  Singing in church, making a dish for the neighborhood block party, attending the neighborhood block party, rehearsing with my scene partner for acting class.  I've got this.  As long as my character in the scene has a knife sticking out of her foot.  

p.s.  Tomorrow (November 2) is Color The World Orange Day, a day for raising awareness about CRPS/RSD.  Various cities, states, and even countries are planning awareness activities, local landmarks will be lit orange, and people are encouraged to wear orange.  Yeah, I know, you just wore orange for Halloween and orange is not your best color.  It's not my best color, either.  But I'm willing to make a fashion sacrifice if it raises awareness and helps in any way to find a cure.  Because pain is also not my best color.