1/30/15. The post where I have a satisfying day.

1/30/15: slept longer last night, but I'm not sure it helped.  As confirmed by my health monitor, my alarm went off during an REM cycle, so I woke up in the middle of a dream and completely confused.  Having the health monitor has been interesting, if only to verify what I already knew.  

I had a calendar full of meetings and projects, so my work day went quickly.  And in a rare occurrence, I spent most of the day helping colleagues keep from getting into trouble instead of trying to get them out of trouble, so it was particularly satisfying.   I came home after work to meet up with our musical house guests, who have been colleagues of my patient, long-suffering husband for many years.  Since he and I met later in life, it is always fascinating to talk with people who have known him for a long time.  We went out for a nice dinner at our favorite local restaurant, where we met up with some good friends who are keeping another one of the visiting musicians.  It was a really nice evening, but I couldn't help but feel for my patient, long-suffering husband.  I can't imagine going to my favorite restaurant and having nothing but sparkling water while all my dinner companions rave about their wonderful meals and wine.  He has become quite the zen master in the last few weeks.

By the end of the evening, my foot was a bit of a mess, but for the most part, I felt pretty good all day considering the 30 degree temperature drop.  Today was a good day.  Tomorrow will be just as cool, but also quite rainy.  (And yes, "rainy" is a word.  I think.)  I'm hoping another decent night of sleep will keep me feeling good through a long and busy day tomorrow.  

1/29/15. The post where I cram my weekend into one night.

1/29/15: another night with too little sleep.  And again, not because of my foot, which continued to improve through the night and most of the day.  I managed to be alert enough to get through a busy work day.  And work is only going to get busier.  As I mentioned earlier, my work is cyclical, and things are ramping up right now.  I received enough meeting invitations today to completely book up my work calendar for the next two weeks, and that does not account for me actually doing any work between meetings.  The next few months are going to be interesting.  

Whether my foot felt better today or I was just too busy to notice it, I'm not sure, but near the end of the work day it suddenly occurred to me that I hadn't thought about it for most of the day.  This was especially good news because it also suddenly occurred to me that I was not really going to have a weekend.  Starting tomorrow, we will have a house full of musicians for a Saturday evening concert, which means lots of host duty and administrative concert prep work.  I leave early Sunday morning for a business trip that will last several days, so all those things still on the to-do list from last weekend?  Tonight was the night.

My patient, long-suffering husband and I kicked it into overdrive and knocked virtually everything off the list.  I'm not saying we didn't cut a few corners, but at least now the house is organized well enough that we could ignore it for a week if necessary without any major issues.  Which is exactly what we will do.  

Tonight's burst of activity was not great for my foot, but it still feels significantly better than it did Monday.  After a few days of gorgeous spring-like weather, it is going to be cold and rainy again starting tomorrow.  We'll see if the new stimulator program strategy is equal to the task of bad weather + tons of activity + not enough sleep.  Wish it (and me) luck, because we'll need it.  

1/28/15. The post where I remember (again) that it is not all about me.

1/28/15: a terrible night's sleep.  Not so much because of my foot.  Just one of those nights where you stare at the ceiling worrying about unimportant things that seem very important in the dark.  On the bright side, my foot has been feeling incrementally better and by today, it's back down to a manageable 4-5 range.  I'm hoping that it will continue to improve.  And the weather was beautiful again today.  I only got to enjoy it in the car on my way to and from work, but I made the most of it.

Speaking of work, here is a little dramatization of how I spend most of my workday:

Person A: I want to do a stupid thing.

Me: Don't do the stupid thing.

Person A: Are you sure?

Me: Yes.

Person A: Okay, I won't do the stupid thing.  

30 minutes later...

Person A: I did the stupid thing.  Can you fix it?

Me:  (beats head against desk)

This afternoon, I got some scary news about an acquaintance.  While we don't see each other often, we've known each other for quite some time.  (I am terrible at estimating time/ages, but I know it's been more than ten years and less than 20.)  She has recently had a recurrence of leukemia and has been having frequent blood transfusions while her doctors try to find a suitable bone marrow donor.  Today, they had to postpone her transfusion because there was not a single pint of blood available in the state that is a match for her.  Her blood type is O Negative, but there are also several other antigens that have to exactly match, so it is difficult to find blood.  While she lives in my city, she is receiving medical treatment elsewhere, and the hospital is setting up testing drives to try to find potential blood donors with the correct blood type. Currently, the testing drives are all in the city where she is receiving treatment, but they are also setting up a drive here in our city.

Guess who else's blood type is O Negative? Yep. I used to donate to a local blood bank periodically, but my last experience several years ago resulted in me passing out in the car (which fortunately was turned off and sitting in a parking lot at the time) and being uninvited to donate in the future.  This situation is a little different, though.  I won't know if my blood is a close enough match until they test me, but if it is, I'll make it work.  

1/27/15. The post where my day is not great, but good enough.

1/27/15: the new stimulator program worked its magic in the night and I was feeling better this morning. Not great, but good enough. So Super Girl sprang back into action, banishing Whiny Girl to a place far away, and while I (and fans everywhere) hope she never returns, I can't completely rule out a sequel someday.

The change came just in time, because it was a beautiful day.  While I had to spend much of the day in the office, I did have a meeting off-campus and I took the opportunity to put the top down on the car and enjoy the drive.  There are many days I wonder whether it made sense to buy a convertible.  This was not one of those days.

This evening was the last of this round of acting classes.  No actual work tonight, just watching the final videos of the scenes we filmed in previous weeks.  Since I started the class late and only filmed a single scene, it was late in the evening before we got to mine, and as the night wore on I began to dread watching my scene more and more.  But when we finally got to it, it was better than I expected. Not great, but good enough.  Classes start again in a few weeks and I am still trying to decide whether I want to continue, but watching the video may have tipped the scales in favor of continuing.  All part of my coach's evil scheme, I'm sure.

Today was weigh-in day for my patient, long-suffering husband and he lost another seven pounds this week, bringing his total to 14 pounds in two weeks!  My two week weight loss total?  Three pounds.  Not great, but good enough.  Moving steadily in the right direction for a change.  I'm starting to imagine buying shoes again someday, although I should probably focus on spring/summer styles.  

1/26/15. The post where I give myself permission to give in for a day.

1/26/15: my foot continued to feel worse throughout the night.  When my alarm went off this morning, I made an effort to gut it out and get ready for work.  But in addition to my foot screaming, my eyes were nearly swollen shut (due to allergies or lack of sleep, I suspect) and I had a stomach ache (no clue on this one).  I had an inner dialogue with myself while getting ready.  More of an inner argument, really.    And I can be a little stubborn at times.  Just ask my patient, long-suffering husband and my family.

In addition to being stubborn, I also pride myself on being tough.  But I didn't feel very tough today.  And after a long argument, I convinced myself that every now and then it's okay not to be tough.  Sometimes I need a day to give in, just for a little while.  So I did.  I stayed home from work.  I rested with my foot propped up.  I read.  I felt sorry for myself.  I even ate a little ice cream.  (A very little ice cream.  A little-known fact about me - I don't really care much for ice cream.  But today it seemed appropriate.)  I made a trip to the doctor's office for new stimulator programs.  I tried one of the new ones this morning and it didn't seem to make much of a difference, so I tried another one late this afternoon and got a little relief.  

Tomorrow, the big girl pants go back on, regardless of how I feel.  Ultimately, staying active is the best thing I can do to try to get this into remission, and too many days like today can make it worse.  But I need to open the safety valve every now and then. 

1/25/15. The post where I do a lot, but don't get much done.

1/25/15: up earlier than usual this morning so I could sell concert tickets after each church service.  A project that took about three hours and resulted in eight tickets sold, all of which I sold in a ten-minute window.  Hmm...maybe I need to rethink my box office strategy.

After church, we went home for a quick wardrobe change and then to our friends' house, where my patient, long-suffering husband was helping with a small home improvement project.  Which turned out not to be quite as small as they thought.  I ran an errand while they worked, but still had plenty of time to hang around and keep them company.  They got the project far enough along to put their house back together and decided to save the rest for another day.  

Back at our place, we finished up the lemon bitters and then settled in for a glamorous evening of dishes and laundry while watching a video.  By the end of the evening, my foot and I were both ready for some rest. While I felt like I was moving all day, there were still multiple to-dos that did not get to-done.  The world will continue to turn, however.  And tomorrow I will get some new stimulator programs.  

1/24/15. The post where we start a project.

1/24/15:  yesterday went quickly.  Lots of meetings at work and a quiet evening at home. The sun came back out and it was a beautiful day.  I also did a better job of changing programs on the stimulator and my foot felt better.  I was exhausted after a few long nights and fell asleep before 9pm, a world record for me.  

I woke up feeling refreshed today and we put together an action plan for the day.  I had a manicure appointment this morning ("Warm Me Up" from OPI's 2013 Holiday Collection) and then we spent much of the day checking items off our shopping list.  We drove all over the city...literally.  North, south, east, and west.  But we had a lot of unusual items to buy, and we managed to find them all.

Then it was home to start our project.  Remember back around the holidays when we were peeling and drying oranges and grapefruit while visiting family?  Well, this weekend we are turning them into homemade bitters.  (For those of you wondering what bitters are, here's a little info: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bitters.)  Along with some lemons from the little bush we have in our garden.  Even though my patient, long-suffering husband can't eat or drink anything but his approved shakes right now, he is still up for kitchen projects and we had fun this evening putting everything together.  The finished product will be ready in two weeks and he will be able to sample some in his sparkling water, so it will be a small treat for him.  It was another beautiful day and I changed the stimulator program a couple of times to keep my foot happy.  This plan seems to be working better.  Or it could be the nicer weather.  Or maybe a combination of the two.  I guess it doesn't really matter, as long as it's working.  

One last fun piece of information...a close friend just returned from a long business trip to China and told me my blog site is forbidden there!  I feel so subversive...

1/22/15. The post where I remember my situation.

1/22/15: it poured rain all night long. I woke up this morning to find that either my alarm malfunctioned or it went off for an hour without me hearing it and eventually shut off.  I'm going with the malfunctioning option, but in either case, I woke up an hour late. (This was probably a lucky break, since I needed some sleep after the last few nights.)  Since I had a doctor appointment, I skipped my workout and cut some corners in my usually cumbersome getting ready process. 

I made it to the doctor's office on time, if a little wet and disheveled.  It was a three month checkup and I didn't learn anything unexpected.  There is still no cure, cold and/or wet weather is still going to be a major issue, and reprogramming my stimulator is still going to be my best/only option for relief.  My medical rep contacted me shortly after the appointment to make an appointment for Monday to reprogram the stimulator and reminded me to change the program frequently.  As a reminder (for me as well as you), the theory behind the stimulator is that motion travels more quickly than pain through nerves.  By stimulating the nerve into constant motion, it masks the pain (to some extent).  Eventually, you become accustomed to the motion and no longer notice it, which means it ceases to be effective at blocking the pain, so changing the frequency often is important.  I shared with my rep my concern about the fact that the amplitude is already so high that I can barely tolerate it, and he assured me he thought it would still be effective to change the frequency of the programs without changing the amplitude.  I've got nothing to lose, so I'm willing to try it.

It was a long day at work, but it went quickly.  I spent the day in a bi-monthly meeting with colleagues from all over the state.  Afterward, my patient, long-suffering husband and I spent a fun evening with a friend playing dominos - a nice way to get through a cold, rainy night.  The rain should stop midway through the morning and then we are forecast for a beautiful weekend.  My doctor assured me that once a weather pattern settles in for a longer period of time I will feel much better.  I hope he's right.  

1/21/15. The post where I buzz all day.

1/21/15: I spoke too soon yesterday.  After I got into bed and stopped thinking about everything else, I realized my foot had not improved as much as I thought it had, and I slept terribly.  A front came in this morning, bringing more cold temperatures and rain.  It would have been a nice day to stay in bed, but I put on my big girl pants and went to work.

And when I say "big girl pants", I'm not kidding.  I put on a pair of pants today that I haven't worn in some time.  I've lost enough weight to be able to wear some clothes that haven't fit in awhile, but not enough weight for them to be comfortable. Or attractive.  But I'm just stubborn enough to wear them anyway.  At the very least, it was a good incentive to stay on my diet.  And speaking of diets, my patient, long-suffering husband is rocking his liquid diet and already seeing some good results.  I'm very proud of him.  I would have already had at least one unseemly public outburst by now if it were me, but his willpower is mighty. 

My foot continued to feel worse through the morning, so as a last-ditch effort, I turned the stimulator to the craziest pattern and the highest amplitude.  I've tried it before and had to immediately turn it back down to keep from losing my cool.  But today, it felt like there was a better chance of me losing my cool if I turned it back down.  So I stuck with it.  When it is turned up to this level, positional changes are much more obvious. Every time I stand up, sit down, lie down, shift in my seat, or generally make any movement from my waist down, I get a quick jolt.  (I believe with dog collars, it is called a "mild correction.")  As a result, I went through much of the day like this:  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Io-ZbKfCkxg. Or maybe it was more like this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_6MAkLJ79LE.  Coincidentally, I have a checkup appointment in the morning with my pain management doctor.  We'll see if he has any other tricks up his sleeve, but I'm not counting on it.  If he suggests attaching a red light bulb to my nose and letting the neighborhood kids go after me with tweezers, I'll know I'm in trouble.  

1/20/15. The post where I try acting again.

1/20/15:  the morning started off better.  My foot was behaving a little more and my patient, long-suffering husband's fever was down.  I left him at home to rest and headed off to work.  It was a Tuesday that felt like a Monday, but a pretty good Monday.  No major disasters at work.

I knew it was going to be a long day.  Tonight was acting class, where we were filming the scenes we started last week.  And you know how that went.  My acting partner and I had difficulty syncing our calendars, so our plan was to get together an hour before class to rehearse.  About halfway through the day, I got a frantic text.  Our coach had scheduled another read-through for him the hour before class, so could I meet two hours before class instead?  Okay, I can do this.  Part of this class is about being patient and flexible.  I could go straight there from work, then go home for a wardrobe change and dinner before returning for class.  

At least, that was the plan.  I got to the classroom and after waiting about 20 minutes got another frantic text.  My acting partner was stuck downtown in a horrendous traffic jam (which is becoming the norm these days in our city) and would not be there in time.  I agreed to be there a little early for class just in case they got a big enough break between the read-through and class for a quick rehearsal.  So I hightailed it home for a quick snack, checkup on my ailing patient, long-suffering husband, and makeup touch-up.  I was glad I had chosen a scene in which my work clothes would be appropriate.

I made it back at the appointed time, but my acting partner did not get a break.  I had just enough time to go over my lines a few times...and then accidentally lock myself out of the building.  Or more accurately, lock myself in between buildings.  It's a long story and difficult to explain.  Let's just say it's a good thing someone was wandering around where they shouldn't have been and I am a loud knocker.  So, I was off to a great start. I hoped the comedy of errors didn't continue.

And it didn't.  The scene went well and everyone was very complimentary.  Maybe I can do this after all.  I was right about it being a long day and I was glad to be home and finally out of my heels after about 16 hours.  But, you know what? I couldn't have done that six months ago.  And while my foot didn't feel great, it was better than last night.  Go figure. 

1/19/15. The post where the weekend ends with a whimper.

1/19/15:  we were both off today in observance of MLK day, and I had a list of things I wanted to accomplish at home.  I am fairly certain cleaning out the pantry and taking down Christmas lights were not part of Dr. King's dream, but I did feel a sense of accomplishment afterward.  It was a lonely workday, because my patient, long-suffering husband was under the weather.  He started coughing on Friday, but managed to make it through his concert and into Sunday morning before he really started to get sick.   

We both had eye doctor appointments this afternoon, and he managed to get himself together enough to go.  This was another one of my medical catch-up activities.  My eyes had not gotten too much worse in the extra year I waited between appointments, but it was enough that I will have to get new glasses, or at least new lenses.  We're only three weeks into January and I have already checked off two of my lingering medical requirements.  Unfortunately, they were the two easy ones. I'm not looking forward to the rest, but I am going to try to arrange one appointment a month for the next few months and I hope to have a clean bill of health by summer.

It was a quiet evening.  My patient, long-suffering husband is now officially running a fever and my foot is miserable.  This is the worst it has felt since I got the stimulator, and the most frustrating part is that I have no idea why.  I've spent the weekend changing programs and amplitudes, with no luck.  Not a very happy way to end a warm, sunny long weekend.  Here's hoping for a better tomorrow.  Which I am fairly certain was a part of Dr. King's dream.  

1/18/15. The post where I tell you about the weekend.

1/18/15: Friday morning, I went into the office for the morning to make sure all the fires were down to a simmer, then in the afternoon my patient, long-suffering husband and I packed our overnight bags and got on the road to head to his concert destination.  It was a short drive, just an hour and a half, and the scenery was lovely for much of the drive.

The concert venue is on the grounds of a large music institute, which is situated on the edge of a very small town.  There were multiple buildings, connected by beautiful walking trails, in a quiet and peaceful setting. I was glad I had tagged along.  As soon as we got there, my patient, long-suffering husband had to go into a rehearsal, so I wandered around the grounds enjoying the spring-like weather and taking photos.  For awhile, I had a four-legged tour guide.  An extremely friendly cat joined me, announcing her presence loudly as she approached and snuggling right up to me as I took some photos of a garden.  Then she began to walk down another path, stopping every few steps to look back at me and make sure I was following.  After about 15 minutes, she wandered off and I was on my own again.

After rehearsal, we went into town (which was about a five-minute drive) to eat dinner with one of the other musicians and her family.  Some of our friends also came into town for the concert, so we met up with them after dinner for some wine and jazz.  This small town was an enigma.  Less than 100 residents, but multiple restaurants and several bars/clubs with live music.  Now, to be perfectly honest, our jazz was a single musician who sang and played the saxophone accompanied by pre-recorded music on an iPad, but he was quite good and the wine selection was lovely.

Our residence was not quite as advertised, but it was climate-controlled and had running water, so it was acceptable.  Since we were the only out-of-town guests, the concert producer did not open the bed and breakfast, housing us in one of the artist residences instead.  And "artist residence" is an elegant way of saying "dorm room".  It was furnished in a very utilitarian manner, and we were surprised to find three twin beds.  Guess we could have invited a friend.  The setting could not have been more beautiful, though.  It was in the middle of the woods, far away from any main road.  Now that I think about it, it would have been a perfect setting for a horror movie, but at the time, it just seemed quiet and peaceful.  

Saturday was full of surprises.  The first surprise?  The shower had two possible temperatures - "scalding" and "icy".  After careful consideration, I went with "scalding", checking periodically to make sure no one was adding carrots and onions to the shower while I wasn't looking.  The second surprise?  Apparently in this facility, if you are not staying in the bed and breakfast, it means you miss out on the "breakfast" part.  Since my patient, long-suffering husband is on a liquid diet, this was less of a disappointment to him.  So we headed back into town to find him some coffee and me some solid sustenance.

The rest of the day's surprises were pleasant ones.  We found a small coffee shop (more of a coffee cabin, really) that consisted of a long table full of friendly locals who insisted we sit down with them and shoot the breeze, which we did gladly.  It was a very interesting group of people and they peppered us with questions about our lives and our work.  Our friends met up with us at the coffee shop and we had a lazy breakfast chatting with each other and our new friends.  

After breakfast, it was back to rehearsal for my patient, long-suffering husband while the rest of us hit the town square for some shopping and more pleasant surprises before the afternoon concert.  There was a festival going on in the square and the weather was beautiful, so everyone turned out.  There was a band playing, which added to the fun atmosphere.  We were amazed by the number of quaint shops that such a small town could support.  

We drove back to the institute for a luncheon before the concert.  The concert venue was packed for the performance. There were at least twice as many people in attendance as we can normally bring in the door for a concert at our church in a big city.  Clearly, this is a town that likes to have fun.  Of course, my patient, long-suffering husband played beautifully as usual and the crowd really seemed to enjoy it.  After the concert, we and our friends stopped at the local pie shop for coffee and their famous pie before heading home.  It was a quick trip, but a very enjoyable one, and I'm hoping to return soon.

Today went quickly, with church, errands, and then a solo trip to the grocery store to get my supplies for the upcoming week.  Since I am the only one in the house eating right now, I'm keeping it simple.  I haven't stooped to ramen noodles yet, but otherwise I'm eating like a college kid.  A college kid with a highly developed palate and a penchant for healthy, nutritionally balanced meals.  Okay, maybe not exactly like a college kid.  Even if I did sleep in a dorm room this weekend.

On a more disappointing note, the warmer, drier weather didn't help my foot.  In fact, it has felt worse and I've had to crank up the stimulator again.  I have a doctor appointment at the end of the week, and I suspect it may be acting up for sympathy.  Well, it's not going to get any.  I don't want to reward that kind of behavior.  

1/15/15. The post where it gets a little warmer.

1/15/15:  not enough sleep last night, or any night this week, now that I think about it.  A nice, quiet day at work would have been nice, but that was not in the cards.  Although in retrospect, a busy day was probably a good thing because it kept my mind occupied.  The day went very quickly and I was glad to have a free evening.

For the first time in too long, I got to wear sunglasses.  The sun was out most of the day and it was warmer today.  My foot didn't feel great, but it was better than the last few days.  And this evening I was finally able to turn down the stimulator a few notches.  Not a moment too soon.  For the last few days, I've felt like I've been walking around with my finger in a light socket.  It is forecast to be a beautiful weekend, so I'm counting on more improvement.  Just a half day at work tomorrow, and then a short trip with my patient, long-suffering husband for a concert he's playing on Saturday.  Part of his compensation for the performance is a night in a lovely bed and breakfast in the quaint little town where the concert will be held.  One of the perks of being married to a musician.  Surely, a long, relaxing weekend will be good for my foot.  Or at least, for my attitude.

1/14/15. The post where I talk more about acting.

1/14/15: one more day of miserable cold and drizzle.  (And by the way, when I talk about "miserable cold", be aware that I am a total wimp.  The high today was about 41 degrees.  I am aware that this would be considered a heat wave in some parts of the country.  Which is why I can't live in those parts of the country.)  No high heels today - just comfortable boots and warm tights to try to keep my foot from getting worse.  To be sure, I am feeling exponentially better than I was this time last year, but I've been up around a 5 the last few days.  Even with the stimulator at warp factor 7.  The high temperature tomorrow is supposed to be nearly 15 degrees warmer than today and I have more than a passing curiosity as to whether I will bounce right back.  

I spent much of the day still puzzling over my acting class last night.  I have been thinking about stage vs. screen acting (and my respect for people who can master both types), LA vs. New York, comedy vs. drama, a writer's intent vs. an actor's or director's interpretation, and most of all, whether any of it is relevant to my life (probably not).  In an interesting coincidence, I came across an article randomly late last night that tied in directly with my ponderings.  Even more coincidentally, it discussed a movie called "Cake" starring Jennifer Aniston as a woman dealing with chronic pain.  The movie is set for nationwide release soon, and the chronic pain community has been abuzz about it for several months.  (You probably didn't realize there is a "chronic pain community".  Well, there is.  And I assure you, we're abuzz about the movie.)  Rather than try to explain the article, I'll just give you a link to it.  http://www.newyorker.com/culture/cultural-comment/oscars-go-bad-performances?mbid=social_facebook. Don't feel obligated to slog through the article.  It is probably only interesting if you are a person with CRPS who happened to have a weird experience in an acting class within the last few days.  Which I imagine is a fairly small subset of the general population.

1/13/15. The post where I talk about my blog.

1/13/15:  it was still miserably cold today, but at least it didn't rain.  Small mercies.  I had to turn up the stimulator again, so I am back in the uncomfortable vibrating zone, but it did help my foot feel better.  Friday is supposed to be significantly warmer, so I hope there is an end in sight.

I woke up this morning to a wonderful gift in my email inbox.  A very nice person, who before today was unknown to me, left a kind and encouraging comment on a blog post I wrote back in October.  The comment reminded me of the two main reasons I write this blog - to keep a written record of how I am feeling on any given day for medical (and sanity) reasons, and to provide encouragement to others who might be going through similar issues.  Every now and then I get comments from readers, and it is always a pleasant surprise to see that people are reading it who aren't related to me by blood, marriage, friendship, or profession.  I've been writing for about a year, and without me noticing, the blog has snuck up to more than 12,000 page views since I started writing it.  For the most part, I suspect the same 30-40 people are viewing it every day, but even so...wow!  Every now and then I thank you for sticking with me, but I don't do it often enough.  So, thank you.

I had acting class tonight and I unveiled a new scene my partner and I have been rehearsing.  As I'm sure you are expecting, I was perfectly prepared and performed exactly as I intended.  And while our coach was complimentary, he asked us to do it over again in a completely different style.  And he much preferred the second version, which floored me because I thought it was awful.  But he makes a living acting and I don't, so what do I know?  Apparently this acting thing is going to be a little tougher than I expected.  We are filming our scenes next week, so I see a lot more rehearsal in my immediate future.  

1/12/15. The post where it doesn't warm up.

1/15/15: a fitful night's sleep.  For the first time in awhile, I had to sleep with my foot out of the covers and hanging over the side of the bed.  I also had a night filled with strange, unpleasant dreams, including one in which I distinctly recall saying, "I don't want to get eaten, and I don't want to eat anyone."  While I suppose that is a good general philosophy, it doesn't make for a restful night.

Another cold, wet day.  Sigh.  I continue to ride the trainer indoors, so at least I am getting some exercise.  I am officially over the current weather pattern.  I'll take warmer or drier - I'm not greedy.  I wasn't getting around very well today, but I was able to spend most of the day at my desk, so I don't think anyone noticed.  On a happy note, I talked to Mom today, and she sounded great.  So great that I could almost forget what she's been through over the past year.  Almost.  She bounced right back after the holiday trip and we're already planning our next trip.  

I got through handbell practice without too much trouble.  My patient, long-suffering husband is starting an official, medically-supervised weight loss program tomorrow, so we celebrated his "last supper" with a trip to our local sushi hangout.  We didn't have the heart to tell them it would be the last time they'll see us for a few months.  I'm hoping his hard work and sacrifice will have a residual effect on me as well.  As does my friend, who is waiting patiently for me to hold up my end of our weight loss pact so she can buy some shoes.

1/11/15. The post where I have a lazy weekend.

1/11/15: no ice again on Saturday, but it was still miserably cold.  I spent most of the day indoors, doing some chores and trying to stay warm.  My acting partner came over for a rehearsal, but I didn't get out of the house until later in the afternoon.  One of our friends was throwing a surprise birthday party for another friend, so I went over to help with a few last minute preparations before the party.  And I learned some things you should never do when attending a party, especially a large party thrown by someone you don't really know.  And even more especially, a surprise party requiring perfect timing.  For instance, while it is certainly appropriate to bring a gift for the host, don't show up right at the beginning of the party with a gift that requires immediate work by the host, who is usually already quite busy.  And it is also thoughtful to offer to bring a food item, but don't bring something that has to be prepared in the host's kitchen.  If you find yourself walking into a stranger's kitchen with your own mixer and a bag full of ingredients, you should probably reconsider your strategy.  And finally, when there is an entire house set up for mingling, setting up shop right in the middle of the host's work space is not the best option.  I feel certain I have done all of these things at some point in my life, but I will try not to do them again.  Fortunately, the host was much more polite and gracious than I would have been, so there were no social disasters.  And it was a lovely party that thrilled the guest of honor.

I intended to write a post last night, but I had a technological malfunction on my iPad that put it, and my computer, out of commission for the evening.  My patient, long-suffering husband got it resolved and I was back in business this morning.  It's a good thing he's brilliant that way, or I would have a trail of non-functioning smart phones and tablets behind me all the time.  And I'd have to write my blogs on carbon paper and send them out by mail.  

Today was even more quiet.  Church, brunch with friends, a little football and napping, then a movie.  In an interesting coincidence, we decided to forego watching the Golden Globe awards to watch a movie instead, which I really enjoyed, and afterward we learned it had won the award for best drama.  I felt like a cinematic genius.  It was still cold and rainy, so I was glad to spend most of the day inside.  I spent much of the weekend adjusting my stimulator, to no avail.  Between my foot and my "generator" hip, I wasn't up to much physical activity.  The weather is supposed to improve over the next few days, and not a moment too soon.  

1/9/15. The post where it is cold.

1/9/15:  no ice this morning, just bitter cold.  I bundled up as warmly as possible before heading to work.  I went to the dentist this morning for some preventative maintenance.   I wasn't looking forward to getting out again in the cold, but I was glad to get it over with.  I let a lot of things go in 2014 while I was dealing with my foot, and now it is time to play catch-up on general medical issues.  I just checked one thing off the list.  One down, lots to go...

My foot didn't feel very good today, but frankly, my whole body didn't feel very good today.  It was cold enough that I felt every bit of my age and then some.  Every joint hurt, so my foot didn't seem that bad.  It's a good thing that I live in a place that is generally warm.  

My patient, long-suffering husband left his car with the dealer today for at least two weeks' worth of paint and body work.  Once again, I am thankful for car insurance.  While it would have been nice to start the year without more broken stuff, for once it appears that we can get something fixed without breaking the bank.  I hope I'm not speaking too soon.  

We had another quiet evening tonight, with another chance of ice in the morning.  Tomorrow is supposed to be even colder.  We have a lot of activity planned for the weekend.  Or maybe I'll just burrow under the covers all day and try to stay warm.

1/8/15. The post where I have a night off.

1/8/15: not enough sleep last night, but I had a pretty good day.  Near the end of the day, everyone at work started to panic about the incoming cold front.  It is supposed to be in the 20s tomorrow with a chance of precipitation.  Not the end of the world, but you wouldn't know that to hear people talking.  I told my patient, long-suffering husband I would make dinner tonight since he has been cooking all week.  This meant I went to the grocery store after work with a crowd of people preparing for Armageddon.  And of course, I got a little caught up in the madness. So I bought some extra supplies, just in case we are iced in tomorrow. And for the next month.

We had a rare night together with no plans, and it was wonderful.  I made a simple dinner and we watched a movie.  I know, that doesn't sound particularly interesting, but to us, it was a big deal. I have to admit that I am secretly hoping for ice tomorrow, because I'm not looking forward to getting out in the cold.  Tonight, my foot is already starting to notice the cold front.  Wish me luck...

1/7/15. The post where I appreciate my patient, long-suffering husband.

1/7/15: I woke up feeling exhausted this morning and my health monitor confirmed it.  Lots of REM sleep, very little deep sleep.  I think the improv class wound up my brain, and coming home after class and trying to go straight to sleep was probably not a good idea.  Fortunately, today was not too mentally taxing, because I don't think I would have been up to it.  A big cold front came in today, which made me nervous, but my foot felt better than I expected.  

I had a late afternoon manicure/pedicure appointment, thank goodness.  With the long holiday break, I had gone longer than usual between appointments, and between cold dry weather, packing and unpacking suitcases multiple times, and generally paying little attention to them, my nails looked like I had tunneled my way out of prison.  But my manicurist is a genius and within an hour and a half, she had me looking human again.  ("Russian Navy" from the OPI Russian Collection, which came out in 2007.  I doubt a Russian collection would be as popular a marketing idea today. But it's an awesome color.)

After my appointment, I was off to help my patient, long-suffering husband put the final touches on a dinner he was cooking for a church function.  He has spent the last two days working on shrimp creole and chicken and sausage gumbo for 50 people.  In addition to doing his normal job.  With virtually no help from me.  Because he is brilliant.  The best part for me?  I got to swoop in at the last minute, do a few minor kitchen chores (like tearing lettuce leaves for salad - I'm talking minor), and then bask in the glory.  Everyone raved about the meal, which was delicious.  Anytime 5 year-olds and 75 year-olds both come back for second helpings, you know you've cooked a crowd-pleaser.  And then we went straight to choir practice, which also went well, despite the fact that nearly everyone was bloated and groaning from the fantastic meal.  My patient, long-suffering husband had an A+ kind of day.  I think he's earned a pass tomorrow.  

1/6/15. The post where I do improv.

1/6/15:yes, that's what I said.  I did improv tonight in my acting class.  And it was a lot of fun.  It's the first time I've done it in nearly 30 years, but it's just like riding a bike.  And I think I burned just as many calories as I would have done riding a bike.  I had forgotten how physical it was.  Or maybe it just felt more physical than it did 30 years ago.  There were a few times I noticed that my foot hurt and thought about turning up the stimulator, but then I would get busy again and forget about it.  Which means this is probably just what I needed.

1/5/15. The post where go back to work.

1/5/15: not enough sleep for the last night before going back to work, but I managed to drag myself up this morning and ride my bike on the trainer. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that in all my holiday debuachery I had only gained half a pound, so I decided to get back on the diet wagon and see if I can keep making progress.  Because eventually I want to be able to buy a pair of shoes again.

It was a busy catch-up day at work, but I got through it.  And I only had two employees crying in my office, so I considered it a success.  Some of my work is cyclical, and I am about two weeks away from starting a really busy four-to-five month cycle. This will be the first such cycle I've gone through since my diagnosis, so I am trying to stay as far ahead of the game as I can.  So far, so good.

When we drove through the remains of the ice storm on Saturday, there was a lot of debris in the road.  Rather than using sand or salt to de-ice the road, it appears the highway department used gravel and broken glass, so in addition to a filthy car, we came home with a ding in the windshield.  And when my patient, long-suffering husband took his car to the car wash today to remove the layer of icy road grime, he made a more gruesome discovery.  There are hundreds of chips in the paint all over the front third of the car and the front headlight covers are completely dinged up.  The hood feels like a cheese grater when you run your hand over it.  Thank goodness for insurance.  For the price of our (relatively low) deductible, the windshield and headlight covers will be replaced, half the car will be repainted, and my patient, long-suffering husband will get a free rental car while the work is being done.  While it's not what we'd hoped to be doing with a three month old car, it could be worse.  Much worse.  Much, much worse.  

My foot didn't feel great today, but it didn't feel horrible, either.  And I turned down the amplitude on the stimulator yesterday (because it was driving me nuts) without it getting appreciably worse.   It's pretty cold this week, and we are forecast for quite a bit of rain over the weekend, so we'll see how it goes.  I have a doctor appointment in a couple of weeks, and I suspect I'll have lots of information to share with him.

1/4/15. The post where I realize it is a new year.

1/4/15:  woke up very refreshed after a night in my own bed.  No choir this morning, so I took advantage of the opportunity to go to the early service.  I went straight home and got cracking on chores. 

I was in Tasmanian Devil mode all day - unpacking, opening mail, doing load after load of laundry, and putting away Christmas decorations. We brought the cold weather back with us and as a result, my foot didn't feel great today, but it improved this evening.  It was a long, tiring day, but I feel organized and ready to get back to real life for awhile.  Not for too long, though.  After one day at home, my patient, long-suffering husband and I are already looking forward to the next trip. 

I realized tonight as I was writing a check that it is a new year.  Yes, I know, I just celebrated New Year's Eve, but somehow the actual date change escaped me.  I just went back and corrected my blog posts for the past three days.  I guess I shouldn't be surprised.  What do Tasmanian Devils know about calendars?  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=c54SvkgQ04A

1/3/15. The post where we make it home...finally.

1/3/15: with our change in destination last night, we knew our drive today was going to be two hours longer and we would have to contend with a time change that should have happened yesterday.  However, there was no point in getting an early start, because part of the road would not be passable until the temperature got above freezing and the sun came out to melt the ice.  So we waited awhile and left mid-morning.

The ice was gone, but there was still a slushy wet mixture for much of the morning that was making everyone on the road skittish.  As was the vehicle carnage in the shoulders and medians.  There was a steady stream of cars, RVs, and 18-wheelers that were overturned, jack-knifed, or simply abandoned.  We felt like geniuses for stopping early yesterday.

By early afternoon, the sun had completely dried out the road.  However, it was still pretty obvious there had been a storm the previous day.  The road was covered in sand and gravel, and filled with filthy vehicles driven by nervous and frustrated drivers.  We stopped in the only decent-sized town for about 100 miles to eat a late lunch and put gas in the car.  We, and everyone else on the road.  After a longer-than-expected lunch, we made the very disconcerting discovery that nearly every gas station in the town was out of gas.  We drove from station to station, reading the "out of gas" signs on the pumps as our fuel gauge dipped dangerously close to "empty".  The only station that still had gas was a truck stop on the edge of town, and there was a line at the entrance that gave me a flashback to the gas rationing of the '70s.  We started to consider the possibility that we might have to stay in town until more gas was delivered, whenever that might be.  Running on fumes, we got in line and hoped neither we nor the station ran out of gas before we got to a pump, while I worked on a plan B.  And a plan C.  

An hour later, we were on our way with a full tank.  We were pleasantly surprised at how well-behaved and orderly everyone seemed to be, and we hoped the gas supply held out for the long line behind us. The rest of the trip was fairly uneventful and we made it home just in time to unpack the car and collapse into bed, because my patient, long-suffering husband has to be at work early in the morning.  I hope they are not expecting greatness.  

And speaking of expectations, we were in the car for about four hours longer than we expected to be, a fact my foot pointed out to me rather emphatically.  Slowly but surely, I am starting to come up with a list of things that irritate my foot, which is helpful, but I sure wish that list were shorter.

1/2/15. The post where I keep thinking I'm having a bad day, but I am mistaken.

1/2/15: yesterday was the perfect start to a new year.  A fairly lazy day with football, a little tourist activity, and some homemade comfort food.  I meant to get to bed early, since today was an early travel day, but that didn't happen.

I set an alarm on my phone since I had to get up early to pack and see my parents off to the airport. I slept horribly, sure my alarm would malfunction.  I had several dreams in which my alarm didn't go off, and I woke up multiple times checking the clock.  Finally, I got up about 30 minutes before my alarm was set to go off, sure that I wouldn't sleep any more.  The first thing I did was check my phone to turn off the alarm, and guess what?  There had been some sort of technological malfunction in the night and my phone had done a hard reset.  No alarm.  Not sure if it was dumb luck, or if somehow I knew subconsciously, but I guess losing a little sleep was worth it.  

Since I was awake, I decided to double check my hotel reservation for tonight.  No real reason to do it.  I had a specific recollection of making the reservation, but I figured it couldn't hurt to verify, and guess what? No written or electronic confirmation that I had a reservation.  Seriously???  No worries, though.  We were driving through a small town on January 2. How hard could it be to get a room?  

Pretty hard.  I checked their website, and every room was booked.  I wasn't even supposed to be awake yet and already it was a bad day.  I started to work on a plan B and checked the weather on our route.  Yikes!  The town where we planned to stop was forecast to have an evening ice storm.  Good thing I didn't have a reservation after all.  After a brief consultation with my patient, long-suffering husband, I made a new reservation at the same hotel we stayed in on Christmas night, a couple of hours closer and not in the storm path.  Problem solved.

We got my parents to the airport, packed up the car, and were on our way.  My patient, long-suffering husband suggested I call the first hotel to make sure we didn't have a reservation, and it's a good thing I did.  Because we did have a reservation.  They had just failed to send me a confirmation.  While I was glad to know that I hadn't dreamed making the reservation, I was still frustrated.  But all was well.

Since we were staying in a different town, we decided to make the most of it and searched for a good restaurant on the World Wide Web.  The good news - it just so happened one of the best restaurants in town was two blocks from our hotel, so we made a reservation.  The bad news - we did not have appropriate clothing.  (Yeah, I know.  First world problems.)  This was easily resolved with a quick stop at a department store just off the freeway.  Which, coincidentally, was having a fantastic sale.  Just like every store in the country.  We got back in the car, where I discovered I had lost my sunglasses...or so I thought.  After I totally retraced my steps through the department store, I returned to the car to find they were in my purse after all, just not where they should have been.  One of the dangers of being an obsessively organized person. I'm not accustomed to things going awry, so when they do, I am ill-equipped to deal with it.

Late in the afternoon, about 70 miles from our plan B destination, it started snowing lightly.  Then it snowed a little more.  Then it snowed like I imagined it snowed in the blizzards when I read "Little House on the Prairie" as a young girl.  I started to hope I had enough layers of clothes to sleep in the car comfortably overnight.  But, it stayed just warm enough that nothing stuck to the roadway, and we got to our destination with no trouble.  Plus, it was beautiful.  Much better than driving in the rain.

We got to the hotel to find we had been upgraded to a suite.  Score!  We cut the tags off our new clothes and dressed for dinner.  A short, cold walk, and we had another wonderful meal.  Probably the last one before a long and serious diet, so we enjoyed it thoroughly.  A short walk through the historic downtown area, and then it was off to bed...or so I thought.  During the walk, one of my earrings had caught on my scarf and my patient, long-suffering husband had to untangle me and find the earring.  However, when we got back to the room, I discovered it was more complicated.  What he had found was actually my pendant, which had also gotten tangled, and the earring was still gone.  Ever the dutiful husband,  he bundled back up and retraced our steps to try to find it, but with no luck.

If the worst thing that happened to me today was losing an earring, I will feel very fortunate.  We just read about hundreds of people stranded on the freeway near our original destination, and local residents are trying to bring them food and blankets.  I am sitting in a cozy historic hotel suite with a full stomach from a delicious gourmet meal.  As it turns out, I had a very good day.  My foot might disagree, but I am not speaking to it right now.  I consider it to be a first world problem.

12/31/14. The New Year's Eve post.

12/31/14: today was an unexpected cold, rainy day, but we still enjoyed it.  A lazy day spent watching football and peeling and drying citrus.  Just like every family, right?

We had a fantastic celebration tonight.  Dinner at a lovely restaurant overlooking the city and dancing afterward at the club below the restaurant.  If you had told me nine months ago, or even two months ago, that I would spend a wonderful New Year's Eve with my patient, long-suffering husband, my parents, and my parents-by-love, with everyone in (relatively) good health...well...that would have been good information to know.  It was a great night.

And now that I've had some time to reflect over the past year, I have special messages for 2014 and 2015. (You are welcome to listen in if you'd like.)

Dear 2014:

SCREW YOU!!!!  You tried to hurt me and my family.  It was a rough year for all of us, physically and emotionally, and we are all at different stages on our personal roads to recovery, but guess what?  You are gone and we are all still here.  In fact, thanks to my precious niece, my family is ending the year with a net gain of one. So there. 

You also tried to break all my stuff. (Now that I think about it, you actually did a pretty good job of breaking all my stuff.)  But guess what?  It's just stuff.  And I have replaced it with new stuff.  Some day, I may even finish paying for all the new stuff.  But even if I hadn't been able to replace it, it wouldn't have mattered.  Stuff isn't important.  Having family and friends I love, and who love me, is important.  And you can never take that away.

Dear 2015:

Let 2014 be a cautionary tale. It threw everything it had at our family, but we didn't give up, and we won.  You are only here for a year, so you might as well make it easy on yourself.  Things will go a lot more smoothly for you if you will just be cool and let us live our lives.  That is all.

Thanks to all of you for playing along with me over the last year.  I wish you a happy 2015 and I hope it brings joy, peace, and good health.  I think I have scared it sufficiently to keep it from messing with you or me.