1/19/14. The post where I tell you about the voices in my head.

January 19, 2014:  No better this morning.  The swelling in my foot had not gone down in the night, which was a pretty good indicator of the direction the day was going to go.  This has been one of those "coping" days.   I stuffed my right foot into a sausage casing shoe so I could drive to church - thank goodness for velcro fasteners.  I may not have been a very good conversationalist, but I managed to get through the public part of my day, and then headed back home to put my foot up.

Some days if I stay busy, I can get distracted and forget it about it for short periods.  On days like today, though, I haven't found anything distracting enough yet to take my mind off it.  Here is a very short dramatic reading to give you an idea of the inner conversation I have found myself having with my brain and sympathetic nervous system (SNS) on days like this.  (You can imagine James Earl Jones and Malcolm McDowell reading it if that makes it more interesting.)

SNS: ACK!!!  Your foot just got cut off!  I'll let your brain know and try to cut off the blood flow!  You call 911 and get someone to apply a tourniquet!
Me:  Calm down, my foot did not get cut off.    
SNS:  Are you sure?  Because I think your foot just got cut off.
Me:  No, it didn't. I promise.
Brain:  I think SNS is right.  It definitely feels like your foot just got cut off.
Me:  Guys, I'm looking right at my foot!  It did not get cut off.  Everyone just calm down.
SNS: ACK!!! Your foot just burst into flames!
Me:  STOP IT!

This may explain my concentration issues.

I'm still optimistic this will go into remission, but I'm starting to wonder if I need a plan B in case it doesn't.  In the meantime, I will do my best to stay occupied and keep arguing with myself.  I'll try to keep it down.

By the way, thank you to all of you who are still reading this.  I have no way of telling who is following the blog (probably because of my limited technical skills), but I know when you say things that you would only know by reading it.  Wink, wink, nudge, nudge...sausage legs.  I feel like I'm in a club with a secret handshake.  It means a lot to me.